Below are my notes from this Thursday's Artist Talk.
Thank you to Sharon at Mandolin Book and Moderator Amy Fung!
I want to talk about process tonight, for some of you it will be a new buzzword and for many I suspect it will be an old one. I am tonight looking at how it relates to a lingering buzzword - diversity.
Over the last year I have had the opportunity to be on committees and be involved in working groups.
In my time in these groups I see how diversity is one of the most important values a group can hold. I also see how in many ways we often fail to fully understand diversity.
It is not just about color, size, backgrounds ECT. but of course those things play a part. Diversity is about differences in the minds, thoughts, ways in which the brain works and ways we express ourselves.
True diversity is uncomfortable, unsettglining, challenging. You know that you are experiencing real diversity when you face gets flushed, or you are outraged or feeling confronted.
Diversity comes when the very core of your beliefs are cast in a way that allows you to recognize that
you are possibly wrong,
there is no such thing as right and
that we are all just doing our best to find the answers in a way that provides us joy or peace.
For me the best way to explore and understand diversity is through process. How does one arrive at a certain belief, idea or result? I am fortunate to have just gone through a process where I had to become apart of 4 different processes in order to complete something that was important to me: the role of non-profits and relations to culture.
I am not an artist’s artist. What matters to me are people and how we interact. How we are with each other, and inside ourselves.
I don’t know theory, I never went to school, and I don’t really know what is going on in the art world- or even fully want to believe that there is an art world because for me an Artist is not caged by a group or school or even profession. An Artist is someone who listens to their curiosities, and then how they see it the curiosities through.
A Politician is an artist, a chef is most certainly an artist, doctors shouldn’t always be, but is okay if they are, researchers should be artists and most single parents who play an active role in their children’s lives are for sure artists.
The best writers are artists and the same can be said for painters, filmmakers, photographers and all other titles we often bundle as Artists. And those rare individuals who really make change are artist. It is not a holy word- but for me the term Artist does suggest that there is some internal work being done. A good preacher, yogi, imam monk is an artist. The best policy makers are artists. And in that thinking many people working in non-profits are artists by survival. I know this 1st hand because of my involvement with various non-profits.
I am involved with HIV Edmonton and on the board of Mile Zero Dance. These experiences have given me insight into the inner workings of what makes non-profits tick but also an understanding that when we talk about culture, ecspeally a city’s culture we damage our understanding by not unpacking the word. What is culture? Who deserves to be included under the umbrella? What is the purpose of culture? And how do we ensure that all people are seen as part of the culture. To me a city is just a manifestation of human’s relationships so a culture is part of that manifestation. It is the thing that can not be tangible because it is more than fluid, it is the vapour we all breath that affects how we walk, talk, build and eat.
As soon as I heard about the cultural capital grant as funded through Edmonton’s designation as Canada’s Cultural Capital I knew I wanted to do something that included voices from outside the typical arts and culture community because for me they are the ones that most influence my work. It was being a volunteer and then employee of HIV Edmonton that I began to understand the delicate choreography of stigma and help services. It was while listening to Dr. Fay Fletcher and her work with Changing Together that I began to appreciate the different textures that surround despair and solutions.
My initial idea was to use the naked human form as a way of capturing people’s attention to issues and the simple fact that non-profits exist in Edmonton. It was and is a good idea but as I traveled down the road with the idea I realized that it wasn’t where I wanted to go.
The 1st aside of the evening. I often hear artists as well as those people in the non-profits, talk about projects and they say things like, “oh the idea got away from me and took on a life of it’s own” there is something both beautiful and dangerous about this urge and or phenomenon. As bosses of our own process we cannot abdicate responsibility to a higher power like whim or inspiration without taking responsibility and ensuring that we hold on to the wheel. It is good to be fluid in our thinking but we must honor our initial curiosity and see that through. Too often great ideas are watered down or over complicate because of something taking on a life of it’s own. Since you breathed life in to the idea you are responsible for where it goes. We do not let our children wander the streets at 5 years old. We can let something have a life of it’s own when we have ensured it can stand on it’s own.
So I was given the grant based on the naked idea but more importantly I think I was granted money for the project because at the base of the project was a curiosity about the role of non-profits in creating culture and how culture in turn works with non-profits.
With a letter of introduction (still with the chance of nudity) I approached and was accepted by 4 different non-profits: HIV Edmonton, Mile Zero Dance, Changing Together and Chrysalis. Of the 4 I had intense experience with 2: HIV Edmonton, Mile Zero Dance; perfiral experience with Changing Together and no prior knowledge or understanding of Chrysalis. It was a passion suggested by a trusted person with whom I knew to listen to.
With my friend and artistic advisor Kathy Ochoa I met with a representative from each non-profit. Before we met I sent them a questionnaire that asked them about their work, barriers, success. I was s looking for the nitty gritty, the highs and lows that I wouldn’t get from the website and that only someone committed and maybe slightly burnt out could provide.
I got what I wanted and even though after each meeting I bored poor Kathy with the, “Okay I get it now, this is what I am going to do speech”, it wasn’t until it was almost getting too late in the process that I realized that I was going down a very narrow path dragging all the non-profits with me and that if I kept traveling I might be the only one who made it through to the other side.
I needed to follow a way that was large and accommodated many different destination- not just the small one of meeting my grant requirements. Something also about this process is that it was deadline. I had until the end of 2007 to finish. It was a busy time so it added to the stress, which added to the work.
The learning for me by the end of summer was that every non-profit was unique and that although they shared a lot they were very different. Funding was a concern for all of them. There ability to think outside the box and bring in community help was something else they all did well. They all also appreciated and understood the power and need for creativity in their work and who art could help them. I think to a degree I saw how art help create a good reflection back on them. Art reminded them that their work was beautiful and meaningful and had a place in society to be celebrated.
What I hope you see when you look at the work is 2 seemingly contradictory yet related things. On the outside all the work looks the same. It is white squared. This for me represents not only how they all represent building blocks that make up our culture but also how in many ways they re all in the same boat and can work together to see a bigger picture (towards seeing everything) once inside the box there are difference. Differences of size, numbers, perspectives and details. There are still boxes thought. This was something that came naturally. I see now how it is both in response to my need to contain the largeness of the issues but also as a way of pointing to the idea that these are just details of what I was exploring
(tour of art work. notes not included)
In closing
In the end for me I realized the project need more than just images hanging on a wall. People needed to come together. I planned a community discussion and invited people from all the different groups to come together to discuss what the images were attempting to animate.
In part this was a reaction to the classical art opening where nobody talks about the art, but in part it was also an homage to art show where people connect after not seeing for a while and catch up on each other’s lives. It is also a place where people come up with new ideas and have conversations that lead to new projects.
A group discussion is also an opportunity to bring together all the different processes I was involved with and give them a chance to influence each other they way they had me. I often feel blessed in this life that I get the opportunity to meet and work with some many amazing people- present company included.
Not to tute my own horn but I am happy with who I am becoming as an artist understanding that I have a long way to go and credit it all to the diversity of voices that I have had along the way.
In the end if we as a collective or even as individuals are working towards seeing everything we need to pick up different lens, filters, and perspectives along the way. It can be achieved through many ways and I thank you for being a part of tonight, which is only on example.
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