Last week I interviewed artist Attila Richard Lukacs about his Polaroid show at the Art Gallery of Alberta. He showed up for the interview wearing an “I Heart Gaza” T-shirt. Standing there as a queer man, commenting on Palestine through his choice of clothing he represented a coming together of communities that in part echoed what my last few weeks have been about.
A few months ago I wrote a column about a listserv that would not post event details for Exposure: Edmonton’s Queer Arts and Culture Festival. A number of reasons were given, including the listserv proprietor’s concern that due to the content (read: gay) the post might offend some of his subscribers.
Nothing really came of the column. A few people mentioned in passing to me that they had had similar experiences, but no one cancelled their subscription to the listserv or brainstormed how we could work with the proprietor to change his practices.
I also became complacent. I sent a few emails around to alert people to what I had written, but when no one replied I let it die. But since it is almost Easter this can be a resurrection story.
A few weeks ago an email was circulated among the social justice community in Edmonton that quoted the column about my experience with the listserv. The circulating email was about how the aforementioned listserv was now unwilling to circulate events happening in the city for Israeli Apartheid Week at the University of Alberta.
The email gathered momentum and soon I was receiving emails that people were cancelling their subscription to the listserv and that they were writing the proprietor strongly worded emails questing his posting practices.
During all this I also received a few notes from people apologizing for not acting when I wrote the column in the first place. One friend involved in social justice wrote, “There are so many fires around me and so when shit like this happens I just think, oh ya, that’s the way it is. I’m used to queer being discriminated against”—she isn’t the only one.
In a way we all have gotten used to homonegativity being a daily part of lives. Systemic and cultural homophobia is so pervasive we often fail to notice it. When someone does we often chalk it up to them being sensitive.
People post homophobic status updates on Facebook, some Urban Outfitters are selling prank “Gays in the Closet” stationary, the Alberta government still does not fully recognize sexual orientation in the province’s human rights legislation and as HIV rates begin to increase among gay men in Edmonton so to does the vitriolic rhetoric around AIDS within the gay community.
I now see how my own acceptance of homonegativity and internalized homophobia let the issue die the first time. I let people continue to subscribe to a service that pandered to organizations that didn’t value them and could in some cases hurt the work they do.
When the email made the issue resurface I felt guilty when I saw people sticking their necks out. When unsubscribing to the listserv put them on the receiving end of long, pontificating emails from both sides I worried that standing up for gay rights might not seem so worth it to them anymore.
In some ways it is now easier to be open about your sexual orientation than it ever has been, but with that comes possible backlash from those who want individuals back in the closet and misplaced notions from some gay people around gratefulness and acceptance. To this day when some macho-looking straight dude doesn’t mumble “homo” under his breath I start thinking he should be nominated for a peace prize. I have to ask myself, since when is just being decent a cause to celebrate?
What I realize now is that people didn’t just unsubscribe from the listserv because they perceived it to be homonegative and discriminatory in other ways. They unsubscribed because they didn’t agree with the owner of the list’s practices and needed to feel supported by a critical mass to take action. They took a stand, not because they have gay or Palestinian friends but because they have friends, and together they recognized that they no longer wanted to support an organization that didn’t value all people equally.
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